Honor that carries a promise
“Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.”Ephesians 6:2-3
Reflection
Of the ten commandments, Paul highlights a singularity of this one: it is the FIRST that comes with a promise attached — "that it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long". God considered honoring parents so structural that He placed it as the hinge between the commandments toward Him and the commandments toward neighbor — and promised reward to those who practice it. There is something in the way we treat those who gave us life that unlocks (or locks) the "being well" of our own life.
But what is honoring, in practice? In childhood, it is obeying ("children, obey your parents in the Lord", says the previous verse). In adult life, the verb matures: honoring becomes respecting, valuing, caring. Jesus was harsh with the Pharisees who "dedicated to God" the money that should support their elderly parents — He called that invalidating the commandment. And on the cross, amid atrocious pain, one of Jesus’ last acts was entrusting Mary to John’s care. If the Son of God, dying, cared for His mother, no schedule of ours is too busy for a phone call.
And what about those who had failing parents — absent, harsh, even abusive? The Bible does not romanticize: honoring is not pretending there were no wounds, not approving of wrongs, nor submitting to abuse. Honoring difficult parents may mean: forgiving (for YOUR freedom), treating with respect despite the history, praying for them, and not repaying evil with evil. Sometimes the possible honor is distance without hatred. And there is a secret the wounded discover: honoring an imperfect father becomes lighter when you know the perfect Father — God’s fatherhood heals what human fatherhood broke.
If your parents are still alive, this devotional is urgent: the time to honor in life is now. Flowers on a grave do not replace visits at home; eulogies at a funeral are worth less than a "thank you" by phone today. Ask yourself: when was the last unhurried visit? The last time you asked about their health and truly listened? The last complete "I love you"? And if yours have already departed, honor the memory: tell the good stories to the grandchildren, forgive what remained pending, thank God for what you received. The commandment is still alive — and so is the promise.
Prayer
Lord, teach me to honor my father and my mother — in the measure of my history: with care, with respect, with forgiveness where there was wound and with presence while there is time. And where human parenthood failed me, heal me with Yours. Amen.
Put it into practice
If your parents are alive: make TODAY a concrete gesture of honor (an unhurried call, a visit, practical help or a specific "thank you"). If they have departed: honor their memory by telling someone a good story about them.
To reflect on
If you knew only a few conversations with your parents remained, what would you say — and why haven’t you said it yet?
Bible text: King James Version (public domain).