In honour preferring one another
“Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another.”Romans 12:10
Reflection
In the midst of a list of guidelines on Christian love, Paul writes: "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another." There are two commands in the verse. The first speaks of affection: the kind of love that exists in a united family, warm, from the heart, and not the cold courtesy of those who merely tolerate one another. The second is an inversion of common logic. In the world, people compete to be honored. Among Jesus' disciples, the competition is to honor the other.
"In honour preferring" means taking the lead in giving honor: being first in recognition, in thanks, in respect. To honor is not to flatter. Flattery is self-interested praise; honor is recognizing someone's real worth and saying so sincerely: giving thanks, giving credit, paying attention, listening without interrupting, treating with dignity. A good part of the hurts we carry in families, churches and workplaces comes from the sense of not being seen, of having our effort ignored. Whoever honors others heals much pain.
Why is it hard? Because pride convinces us that honoring the other diminishes us, as if there were a limited amount of recognition and every compliment given were a compliment lost. Jesus shows the opposite. He, the Lord, washed the disciples' feet, and no one came out smaller from that gesture. To honor does not mean accepting abuse, lying or giving up boundaries. It means seeing each person as someone for whom Christ died, and treating them in keeping with that worth.
Today, put this into practice with three people. Thank someone specifically who does something for you and is usually forgotten. Give credit publicly to someone who helped with a piece of work. And listen to someone with full attention, without looking at the phone or preparing your reply. Begin inside your own home, where familiarity tends to erase recognition. Notice how the atmosphere changes. When the competition becomes "who honors first", a climate of brotherly love grows, and that is exactly what Paul asked.
Prayer
Lord, teach me to love with true affection and to prefer honoring others. Free me from the pride that only wants to be recognized. Open my eyes to the worth of each person for whom Christ died, and give me the initiative to thank, to value and to listen. Amen.
Put it into practice
Honor three people today: thank someone specifically, give credit to whoever helped and listen to someone with full attention. Begin with someone in your household.
To reflect on
Who around you rarely hears a word of honor and recognition from you?
Bible text: King James Version (public domain).